“What’s wrong?” Two little words when placed together in question form are beyond aggravating when stated at the wrong time. It seems that since 2014 started something has always been wrong or on the horizon of being wrong. But I find myself now more than ever getting thoroughly more annoyed with the questioning aspect and the lack of action. I find that the “What’s Wrong” question is often used as a means of interrogation out of curiosity and not so much any type of preface to assistance or empathetic connection. People are so quick to ask what is going on in your life because they want to gauge how badly you are doing in order to make themselves feel better about the travesties going on in their own lives. Granted thats not always the case, as there are people on occasion who genuinely care about others and their well being. But for every person who genuinely cares about other’s issues there are ten other people waiting to pry open your wounds in order to throw salt on them at a later date.
Thats just human nature. We need to build ourselves up and we see nothing wrong with tearing others down to do so. It’s a learning process I’m tackling on a daily basis. Accepting circumstances you can not change is the biggest pill I’ve had to swallow in the past few months. When people start to let you down that you never thought would, you initially place the blame on yourself. Why? Because obviously it must’ve been something you did that caused the outcome. Your insight becomes a blurred distortion of reality and instead of assessing the current situation you place a barrier in front of your own progress, healing, and reflection. I’m public enemy number one for myself,my biggest critic, and my own worst enemy.
Re-evaluation often occurs at what we perceive to be the worst possible moment, at least in regards to myself. I often find myself re-evaluating those around me or my self when I am at my lowest possible point. No one thinks to re-invent themselves or re-assess those around them when things are going well and there’s nothing but positive prospects on the horizon. However it seems that revaluation in the positive moments of our lives could save us from spiraling aimlessly back into a dark place that leaves us feeling restless, anxious, angry, and alone. From my own personal experience, I don’t think about my mistakes in the slightest bit until I’ve made what seems to be another life changing mistake. Everything to me is life changing, and perhaps that is my biggest mistake to date. Not realizing that there is always going to be a peak and a valley on the horizon. Granted some valley’s take longer to get through or are more difficult to climb out of but there is always a peak on its way. Once I’ve dug myself out of that darkness I always look back and realize it didn’t kill me, just slowed me down.
And that’s the thing to remember when thinks aren’t like they should be. Things aren’t meant to stay the same because that would hinder progress and as humans we can not function without substantial progress. We become restless, stagnant creatures of habit until life decides to shake things up and throw new puzzle pieces into the already established box. It may not be what I like… but it is something I must learn to accept.