It’s been so so so long! I find that my best personal writing for my own blog comes with some time in between and of course interaction and life experience on a day to day basis. I’ve been having very minimal conversations with people for several reasons however I did strike up a conversation with a close friend of mine that kick started the theories behind this writing.
I by no means speak for all women as it is even difficult to speak for myself at most times. However I’ve been encountering a lot of discussions from the male species referring to how “Crazy” us females are. And it doesn’t just stop with that lovely sentiment. There descriptions go even further to state that we are irrational, erratic , emotional, and unstable. Even a group of my male students this week joined the trend by saying women are always angry and that it must be “that time of the month” this week. After schooling them on their sexist ways I was literally mentally drained and too tired to school the ignorance I call my friends. As the week progressed one of my friends who was battling many of his own demons in dealing with the opposite sex told me that he hated women’s irrational confusing behavior and that all women were the same. All women except for me because I behave like a man.
Apparently many men and some women on occasion believe that this is actually a compliment or something to revel in. Thinking or behaving like a man, or acting like a lady, whatever the concept may be that is built to conceptualize acceptable stable behavior is complete bullshit for lack of a better word. This statement falls into the same category of nonsense that deems men aren’t allowed to cry, or must wear particular clothing/colors, and must speak and act a particular way to prove their manhood.
I’m sure my arguments with him went on deaf ears as he was dealing with his own form of sexism in which he was told he was “too feminine”. Again in 2014 I can’t understand what that can even begin to mean. We fall into a trap as both men and women in which we expect things from one another because society has crated this perception in our minds of what a women is supposed to be or how a man is supposed to behave. Then we wonder why relationships dont work and divorce rates are sky rocketing year after year. It is because we are not taking the time to build relationships that go beyond society’s expectations and meet our own personal expectations. Instead of learning what you need personally from someone you go off of what you see, hear, and have had negative experiences with.
My final response to him when I was tired of trying to explain to him that it all about about balance and practical expectations I ended our conversation with one of the truest lines I’ve come to accept. “We accept the love we think we deserve” It goes beyond just the concept of what men do and what women do. You must understand what you want, and correlate it to what you truly deserve not what you think you deserve. This is what causes the break down most often when women and men interact. There are these unrealistic expectations and misconstrued communication that lead to creating a wider gap between reality and causing an increased level of anxiety, hatred, and stereotypical responses.
It is the most difficult simple concept to understand. I behave in a manner that works best for me, that works best for my mental stability and progress. I was tired of fighting and arguing so I stopped looking for someone to fight and argue with. I started growing towards a different desire therefore I had to adjust in order to meet what I deserved. It’s difficult to get out of a cycle or a rut that you find yourself trapped in rut that should be used as a learning experience or a jumping point instead of a means to disrespect others. Fight for love not fight against it. Believe in the good in people while protecting yourself and in order to maintain a healthy open relationship with those around you. My behavior and actions has nothing to do with wanting to mimic that of a man. I behave in how I see fit and how well it suits me to achieve the goals I’ve set for myself. I don’t act like a man, or a woman I act like myself.